San Francisco tiger escapes

San Francisco Zoo officials were later seen herding the tigers into Oakland. When asked why, they simply replied, "Spite." (moosyfate)

The victim's family was reportedly not consoled by Siegfried and Roy's offer to perform at the funeral. (fivecolorblind)

Car crashed into radio station

Chicago Tribune

Police arrive on the scene after an anonymous tip that a media outlet was stating the obvious; ABC7 was let off with a warning and was strongly advised to return to stories about Jamie Lynn Spears. (moosyfate)

Yet another crime scene was compromised by the presence of onlookers after police improperly hung their caution tape upside-down. (fivecolorblind)

Guiliani passes out

Getty Images

Guiliani proves that he was at Ground Zero "as much, if not more" than most of the rescue workers being hospitalized for a mysterious illness. (fivecolorblind)

Guilani reenacts the strangulation method used by his aide that led to his "blackout." (moosyfate)

Baseball doping report

Finally close to competing with the Hall of Fame team, Hall of Shame GM Marge Schott cites the controversial embarrassment clause in laying claim to to the rights of Ty Cobb, Joe Nekro and Ozzie Guillen to help overtake those "bastard do-gooders."

Declines compromise for Gary Sheffield: "we already have enough outfielders." (fivecolorblind)

Prospective Hall of Famer Roger Clemens demonstrates his "bite the bullet" face to the press. The report on doping in baseball claims that he used that face when all the veins except for those in his ass had collapsed. (moosyfate)

Washington fire

Satan drops by VP Dick Cheney's office for tea and human sacrifices. (fivecolorblind)

Bomberman's first (and last) day of work as a Japanese diplomat. (moosyfate)