Champaign, Il-
Nike's latest hideosity was unveiled this morning at a press conference held at the University of Illinois' Foreman Auditorium. The new jersey, which will be worn by all of the Fighting Illini sports teams, features several untraditional elements. Les Atkinson, Nike's Vice President of customer service claims the new design has "revitalized what was previously a stale and stagnant clothing line." To this end, Atkinson said his company "seamlessly if not imperceptably incorporated 27 of our trademark swooshes so that opponents will know that your teams wear only the highest quality materials." Nike's design also replaces the numbering system used in several sports to identify players with the retail price of the jersey. According to Atkinson, alternate jerseys will be employed throughout the season to indicate any sales or fluctuations in price.
-K-Funk, 3/4/7
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