NYC puts heavily armed cops in the subway

Associated Press

In an embarrassing incident, the cop in the middle got his Rolex stolen on his first day of work in the subway. (moosyfate)

"This is awesome!" a young officer is quoted as saying. "THIS is why I joined the force! And my cousin Joey said the only way to get the major artillery was to join the Guard or some [thing]. He always was a [deleted]sucker." (insidian)

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Upon hearing the news, MTA officials hurriedly engaged in the precautionary measure of stripping all of the reflective paint used in the subway system. (fivecolorblind)